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I never found religion, but was born with freedom. That's the one thing I pray will not be taken!

mandag den 25. april 2016

Do I deserve love?

I’ve been wondering about this for a while now. I have watched the film “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” a couple of times now and this quote is stuck in my head “We accept the love we think we deserve”.

If this saying is true, then maybe that is why I’m still single. After all the things I’ve been through the past 6 years, maybe I don’t think I deserve to be loved. After all, the one I thought was my one true love left me. Since then all of my relationships have been pretty bad and fucked up. I try really hard not to fall in love with anyone and I reject anyone who might be interested. What if I actually think that I don’t deserve to be loved? I mean I don’t know if I do, but maybe that thought is hidden somewhere in my brain and maybe that thought is why I always run away if someone comes to close or confesses to me. Maybe that is why I’m not happy. I push my chance of happiness away, because I think that I don’t deserve to be loved.

It is a crazy thought, I know, but maybe it is true. And if it is, what the hell am I going to do about it? I really have no idea.

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